[He nodded, though he didn't smile. He was stood straight and almost to attention as the door opened. He still feels awkward, even if there is no annoyance on Steve's face. There wouldn't be. Steve was one of the gentlest people he had ever met.
Another reason he should not be bound to one such as Suzaku.]
I figured. You don't have to though. It wasn't your choice, to get married. And I haven't done anything to try and get it annulled. I have missed you at dinners though. You're alright? Haven't gotten hurt lately or anything?
[He reached out as if to stroke Suzaku's cheek or pet his hair, but he didn't quite make contact. Steve hadn't invited the guy in yet either, mostly because he wasn't sure Suzaku would want to come in. It was so hard to read him . . .]
[He just bowed his head. It wasn't his choice. But nor was it Steve's. They hadn't spoken about it, or much at all since it had happened and honestly, Suzaku had missed Steve as well.
As strange and confusing as Steve was, he had been one of the first people Suzaku had met in hell.
He doesn't flinch away from Steve's hand, though he is aware of it.
He thinks about lying, but he's been trying to be a lot more honest lately.]
It wouldn't be hell if we weren't hurt. Are... Have you been alright?
[It's a lie. Steve isn't always okay. He has seen Steve when he had been not okay before and he doesn't doubt plenty happened in Suzaku's absence.
But if he doesn't wish to tell Suzaku then Suzaku will not press. Nor does he flinch away from the hand in his hair, allowing Steve to caress it as he enters.]
[He nodded, Steve had told him to come for meals and he hadn't. Just another way he had failed at being... Not even a good husband but a good friend.
No one had ever called Suzaku a good friend. He went to sit on the couch stiffly.] I was taken from Mammon's land to be further punished. I was there a month, when I returned it was around the time we were taken to the hospital. [He wonders if Steve remembers the odd dream they shared. It had been a weird time.]
Things have been... Calmer since then. [The usual being forced into torture rooms, readjusting to life in the hotel.]
[Dishes clattered when Suzaku mentioned being taken to a torture place, but he didn't interrupt. There was another small crash when the boy mentioned the hospital. Steve very much remembered that vision they'd shared, and how scared for Suzaku he'd been.
Soon enough he was able to bring over the food and something to drink, setting it all on the table in front of the couch. Steve sat down too, his hand moving over Suzaku's hair lightly. He couldn't help it! He was impelled to touch people he cared about.]
[He heard those clattering dishes and glanced over in concern a couple of times though he didn't stop his report until he was finished, watching with worried eyes as Steve move back over.
He didn't move away from the hand on his hair, he's figured out that Steve touching people was a comfort to Steve as much as anything else and he wouldn't take that away from him.]
Thank you.
[He nodded and took some of the food, eating slowly.]
[He ate slowly, politely and paused to answer the question.] Yes I am still in my suit. 206. [He hadn't realised Steve hadn't known where he lived. Strange since he had been to Steve's suite a few times but Steve had never been to his.]
[Steve was smiling. Those were good men to be watching over Suzaku. He didn't know Noah, but he was probably a good man too. It actually made him feel a little less worried about the kid knowing he had those two for roomies.]
I don't know Noah, but Peter and Geralt are great. You should really look out for Peter though. He can talk your ear off if you're not careful. And Geralt can scare off anyone with just a look. Good men to have at your back.
Peter does seem very friendly. We have only spoken a couple of times. [And truthfully it was Peter doing most of the talking, but Suzaku could be polite at least.]
I spoke to Geralt in the hospital. Me and Noah have been roommates for longer but he has friends elsewhere that he spends much of his time with. [Rather than spending time in the suite. Not that Suzaku can judge, he spent little time there himself.]
I do, yeah. Peter's seriously sweet. If you need a man at your back, Peter's an excellent choice. And Geralt is . . . very quiet. And interesting as hell. But he's hard to draw out. I bet you have better luck than I do.
"I am not sure. But I did learn he misses his horse." It's the only thing he knows about the man. He took another bite of food, falling quiet as he watched Steve.
Someone else he knew far less about than he should.
"Yeah. He does love that horse. We've chatted about her a time or two." Steve couldn't get over the horse. It was so human and sweet. It made him like Geralt even more honestly.
"Peter though. If you need help, you can trust him. He'll try to help no matter what it is."
He nodded, taking another bite of the food. He had gotten that from Peter, even if they had only had a short conversation. Someone who would try to help.
Much like Steve himself. He looked at him, his husband and then down at his food, not sure what to say. Perhaps he should have figured out what he was going to say before turning up at the mans door...
Trying to keep things normal with Suzaku was . . . difficult. The kid gave him so little, and he understood why, at least in general. Suzaku had been abused and probably tortured, definitely misused, and he had no one back home. Steve hoped he had people in the hotel, but he wasn't positive his hopes were real. If only he could get the guy to open up!
They ate in silence for a bit, "Suzaku? You haven't asked about the ah . . . marriage."
The food was good even if the silence was a little awkward. He knew that was his fault. After all Steve was so friendly, it was hard to think of him struggling for conversation with others.
He looked up with big green eyes when Steve brought up the very thing that Suzaku had not managed to. "No. I... I'd been wondering about it. I know that I'm not exactly..." He frowned, shook his head slightly.
He reached over to touch the kid's hand lightly. Suzaku put up with being touched, but he didn't seem to crave it, or enjoy it. That was another problem Steve just hadn't had the time or the desire to try and poke at. There were so many ways it could go wrong . . .
"It's a little odd. Although back home you'd be old enough to marry if you really wanted to. I suppose I just expected you'd want to get it dissolved. So you didn't have any . . . obligations." Like coming to dinner.
"I didn't think you would want that." He didn't move his hand, looking down at their hands silently. Honestly he couldn't figure out what Steve would want. Suzaku can't imagine him wanting to be married to Suzaku but...
But talking to the man was perhaps the first step he should have taken. Even if his absence for so long wasn't exactly his choice.
It was hard to leave his hand in place and stay calm. The last thing he wanted was for Suzaku to think he was talking about sex, because he would never force that on someone. Ever.
"I mean, a little platonic time together would be nice. I've always liked you Suzaku, but you've never given the impression you'd want something intimate." With anyone as far as he could tell. Steve had never heard even a whisper of the kid being romantic with someone. Not that he spent a lot of time asking questions like that . . . He sighed at Suzaku's question, studying him.
He sat calmly, wearing a mask of calm is almost second nature to him, his uncomfort is only shown in the way he stares at their hands, too intently.
And the blush that rose on his face. But mostly it is guilt. He likes Steve. The man has been nothing but kind to him since the moment they met and really, that's part of the problem.
He's too nice, nice in a way that Suzaku doesn't deserve and so it's hard to accept anything. It feels like taking advantage.
But did he want the marriage dissolved? Did he want to be married to Steve? He doesn't know. Honestly. If Steve had suggested he didn't want to be stuck with him he would have agreed to dissolve it in a heartbeat but it doesn't seem that Steve does want that.
"I don't know." It's complicated. It's gotten a lot more complicated these last month or so. "I apologise... If you got the impression..."
He looked up, trying for some confidence at least. "I'm not very good. At intimacy."
Steve smiled at the boy, "Really? I never would have guessed." It was a gentle tease, but the smile faded quickly, "Suzaku, can we talk? Seriously I mean. Would it be prying if I asked more about your life? You can ask me the same . . ."
Whether they stayed married or not, but wanted to be there for the boy. He wanted to help. Steve just didn't know how.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-09-15 04:07 am (UTC)[He nodded, though he didn't smile. He was stood straight and almost to attention as the door opened. He still feels awkward, even if there is no annoyance on Steve's face. There wouldn't be. Steve was one of the gentlest people he had ever met.
Another reason he should not be bound to one such as Suzaku.]
I wanted to apologise. For my absence.
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Date: 2021-09-20 02:05 am (UTC)[He reached out as if to stroke Suzaku's cheek or pet his hair, but he didn't quite make contact. Steve hadn't invited the guy in yet either, mostly because he wasn't sure Suzaku would want to come in. It was so hard to read him . . .]
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Date: 2021-09-20 07:44 am (UTC)As strange and confusing as Steve was, he had been one of the first people Suzaku had met in hell.
He doesn't flinch away from Steve's hand, though he is aware of it.
He thinks about lying, but he's been trying to be a lot more honest lately.]
It wouldn't be hell if we weren't hurt. Are... Have you been alright?
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Date: 2021-09-24 02:32 am (UTC)I'm sorry you've been hurting Suzaku, but I'm fine. I'm always ok. You wanna come in? I have some leftovers . . .
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Date: 2021-09-24 07:03 am (UTC)But if he doesn't wish to tell Suzaku then Suzaku will not press. Nor does he flinch away from the hand in his hair, allowing Steve to caress it as he enters.]
Thank you. You do not need to trouble yourself.
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Date: 2021-09-26 09:33 pm (UTC)It's no trouble. I owe you a bunch of meals already, remember? Go on, go sit on the couch. It'll be over in a minute.
[Steve went to the kitchen and started getting the food and heating it.]
What have you been up to? Can I get at least a few specifics?
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Date: 2021-09-27 04:44 am (UTC)No one had ever called Suzaku a good friend. He went to sit on the couch stiffly.] I was taken from Mammon's land to be further punished. I was there a month, when I returned it was around the time we were taken to the hospital. [He wonders if Steve remembers the odd dream they shared. It had been a weird time.]
Things have been... Calmer since then. [The usual being forced into torture rooms, readjusting to life in the hotel.]
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Date: 2021-10-03 05:42 pm (UTC)Soon enough he was able to bring over the food and something to drink, setting it all on the table in front of the couch. Steve sat down too, his hand moving over Suzaku's hair lightly. He couldn't help it! He was impelled to touch people he cared about.]
Here. Eat Suzaku. Just eat something.
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Date: 2021-10-03 06:20 pm (UTC)He didn't move away from the hand on his hair, he's figured out that Steve touching people was a comfort to Steve as much as anything else and he wouldn't take that away from him.]
Thank you.
[He nodded and took some of the food, eating slowly.]
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Date: 2021-10-03 07:08 pm (UTC)Where have you been keeping yourself? I mean, are you still in a shared suite or something? Roommates?
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Date: 2021-10-03 07:18 pm (UTC)I share with Peter, Noah and Geralt.
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Date: 2021-10-03 07:43 pm (UTC)[Steve was smiling. Those were good men to be watching over Suzaku. He didn't know Noah, but he was probably a good man too. It actually made him feel a little less worried about the kid knowing he had those two for roomies.]
I don't know Noah, but Peter and Geralt are great. You should really look out for Peter though. He can talk your ear off if you're not careful. And Geralt can scare off anyone with just a look. Good men to have at your back.
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Date: 2021-10-04 03:30 am (UTC)I spoke to Geralt in the hospital. Me and Noah have been roommates for longer but he has friends elsewhere that he spends much of his time with. [Rather than spending time in the suite. Not that Suzaku can judge, he spent little time there himself.]
You know Peter and Geralt?
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Date: 2021-10-08 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-08 05:38 pm (UTC)Someone else he knew far less about than he should.
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Date: 2021-10-16 05:22 am (UTC)"Peter though. If you need help, you can trust him. He'll try to help no matter what it is."
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Date: 2021-10-17 03:34 pm (UTC)Much like Steve himself. He looked at him, his husband and then down at his food, not sure what to say. Perhaps he should have figured out what he was going to say before turning up at the mans door...
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Date: 2021-10-18 01:15 am (UTC)They ate in silence for a bit, "Suzaku? You haven't asked about the ah . . . marriage."
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Date: 2021-10-18 03:45 am (UTC)He looked up with big green eyes when Steve brought up the very thing that Suzaku had not managed to. "No. I... I'd been wondering about it. I know that I'm not exactly..." He frowned, shook his head slightly.
"It must be strange for you to be married to me."
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Date: 2021-10-25 01:52 am (UTC)"It's a little odd. Although back home you'd be old enough to marry if you really wanted to. I suppose I just expected you'd want to get it dissolved. So you didn't have any . . . obligations." Like coming to dinner.
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Date: 2021-10-25 03:58 am (UTC)But talking to the man was perhaps the first step he should have taken. Even if his absence for so long wasn't exactly his choice.
"Do you wish to dissolve the marriage?"
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Date: 2021-10-30 08:33 am (UTC)"I mean, a little platonic time together would be nice. I've always liked you Suzaku, but you've never given the impression you'd want something intimate." With anyone as far as he could tell. Steve had never heard even a whisper of the kid being romantic with someone. Not that he spent a lot of time asking questions like that . . . He sighed at Suzaku's question, studying him.
"Do you?"
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Date: 2021-10-30 10:03 am (UTC)And the blush that rose on his face. But mostly it is guilt. He likes Steve. The man has been nothing but kind to him since the moment they met and really, that's part of the problem.
He's too nice, nice in a way that Suzaku doesn't deserve and so it's hard to accept anything. It feels like taking advantage.
But did he want the marriage dissolved? Did he want to be married to Steve? He doesn't know. Honestly. If Steve had suggested he didn't want to be stuck with him he would have agreed to dissolve it in a heartbeat but it doesn't seem that Steve does want that.
"I don't know." It's complicated. It's gotten a lot more complicated these last month or so. "I apologise... If you got the impression..."
He looked up, trying for some confidence at least. "I'm not very good. At intimacy."
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Date: 2021-11-02 12:38 am (UTC)Whether they stayed married or not, but wanted to be there for the boy. He wanted to help. Steve just didn't know how.
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Date: 2021-11-02 05:23 am (UTC)"It wouldn't be prying. I can answer your questions."
And ask his own.
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