There was a loud knock on the door. Actually, not loud so much as rough, followed by a muted stumble as though a heavy weight had landed on the door.
After his fight with Jim, James had taken a long, ill-considered detour by the club, and had more drinks than he ought to, and had mixed them with more drugs than he should. He was buzzed out and so out of it, it was a wonder none of the demons had decided to take advantage of his state in some way.
It was a wonder that he'd managed to stumble his way to Steve's doorstep, too. Granted, he was barely managing to stay upright, and chances were he's just fall into Steve's room the moment that door was open.
Steve had heard the man coming for ages and knew who it was. He even knew, well guessed, what was wrong. When he opened the door, he caught James before the man could collapse and swung the limp body up into his arms. It was just a short walk to his room and then he had the man safe on the bed. Steve sank down next to him and sighed, running his fingers through James' hair with an exasperated look. Usually the man didn't come to him when he'd been taking drugs, not the Steve even remotely considered kicking the guy out, or giving a lecture. There had to be a good reason James had gone so overboard. The question was whether he'd get it in a timely fashion.
Since James didn't seem in any hurry to speak, Steve took a moment to text Setsuna, taking care of that potential issue before it became one. He didn't like refusing his little brother bed space, but there was no way in hell James would agree to such a thing, even if he'd wanted to have them in the same room. Which he didn't. No, they could meet another day, when James was sober, and when he'd already explained to Setsuna who and what James was to him. Sometime far in the future probably . . . When the room continued to stay silent, he sighed and stroked the man's flushed cheek.
"James. What the hell have you been doing? You reek of alcohol, and I can smell at least five different drugs. What happened?"
He felt a warm, solid body catch him, and he couldn't help a sigh of relief. It was the most comforting thing he could feel since... honestly, he didn't even want to think about that. He was just relieved that he'd found the right door, and the right person.
He mumbled incoherently all the way to Steve's bed, sighing in relief when he felt the softness of the covers beneath him, too out of it to even care about pulling them over himself instead. He had so much alcohol in him, it wasn't like he felt the cold anyway.
"Just want to stay," he mumbled, reaching for Steve's hand, clinging to his arm as tightly as he could manage. He was on the verge of tears, that much was likely obvious, too on edge to even realize that he couldn't filter his emotions properly like he normally would. "Please... let me. Don't... w-want to be alone..."
The clinging made his eyes go wide, then close against tears. All the annoyance melted away and he sighed as he laid down behind James, rolling the man to his side and pulling James back against his chest. Both arms wound around the man and he tangled his legs with the man's as well, getting as close as physically possible. He made a frustrated sound and shifted, groping of the other side of the blanket to pull over them then settled down fully with James' back cuddles against his chest. Thank god he threw off so much heat too, because James felt so fragile in his arms . . .
Steve nuzzled the man's nape, mumbling against James' skin and pulling in deep breaths of his scent, "Shhh baby. It's alright. I'm here. I'm always here for you. You can stay as long as you want. I'm happy to have you here." He just kept dropping kisses on the man's nape, cuddling James. It didn't really matter what had brought him, at the moment, just that James was there. If his lover needed him, he'd never turn the man away. He'd explain to Setsuna later, when James wasn't so upset. In the meantime, all his attention was on James and soothing the man's emotions.
"I love you James. You never need to worry about having a happy welcome. My door's always open for you. Always."
Steve's closeness both felt like too much and not nearly enough. James just trembled against the hold, then all but melted into it, letting out a shivered whimper as he closed his eyes and hid his face against the nook of Steve's shoulder.
He might wake up with a hell of a headache later, or even have to stumble to the bathroom to throw up halfway through the night. But for now, he couldn't even think to move away. He felt like he was broken up into pieces and Steve was the only thing that was keeping him whole. If he untangled from the tight hold of his arms, he had a feeling he'd just fall apart.
"Good," he trembled, crying in absolute silence. He didn't want Steve asking why he was like this, what happened to him, but he also couldn't hold back the emotions taking the best of him. "Just... want to sleep forever."
"Shhh James. It's ok. You can sleep as long as you want, but maybe not forever, hmm?" Steve gently stroked away the tears as they fell on the one side of James' face he could reach. He didn't mention them, just lovingly helped even as he tried to tease a little. James wouldn't want pity or anything that seemed like pity, and Steve got that. He didn't pity James in the least, but sympathy and empathy both would seem like that to the man at the moment. Silent comfort and unrelated words. That would be best.
"If you sleep forever, how am I gonna hear you tell me how big I am? Or how good it feels to be stuffed full? How can I tease you and make you bitch at me?"
Steve spoke quietly, voice low and soothing. He didn't expect answers, he just wanted James to feel comforted. The lewd words would hopefully do that since they so often solved conflicts with sex, or put them off for another day at least. He wouldn't ask about what happened, not until the man seemed stronger. James needed care and Steve was overjoyed to give it, even though it was hard seeing such deep pain without knowing the cause.
"Close your eyes baby. Get some sleep for now. I'll be here, no matter what."
James didn't say it out loud, but sleeping forever sounded like a great idea right now. Granted, the drugs and the alcohol weren't making him feel that great about existing overall, but he had a feeling that everything would hurt even worse when he was sober.
His breaths trembled as he settled, not really processing the tease in Steve's words. He clung tightly to the other man, or as tightly as he could manage, and let himself melt into the embrace. He wasn't going to sleep so much as sleep into a drug-fueled dream, he was sure, but it was better than being awake and aware, at least.
But Steve felt warm, and solid. He was right there, holding him. He wouldn't leave during the night, leave James to wake up to an empty bed. That was the only thing that could make him forget about the whole mess with Jim, even if only momentarily, and he allowed it to sweep his mind and lull him into sleep.
Sleeping with James in his arms usually meant Steve could sleep, at least for a few hours. He was awake again long before the man needed help to the bathroom though, and he stayed awake afterwards to just comfort James as he struggled in his sleep, apparently having unhappy dreams. He did his best to soothe James, but it was only partly successful, and when the man finally woke for good he looked ragged. Steve stroked James' face as he heard the man's body slowly coming out of sleep, thumb running gently over the dark circles under his lover's eyes.
"Shhh it's ok baby. Take your time. I'm still here. No reason to open those pretty eyes before you're ready. Just rest James. There's no timetable, no obligations. Just rest."
It wasn't a particularly pleasant night. He tossed and turned in his sleep, woke up in the middle of the night in a sweat, went to the bathroom to throw up at some point, and struggled to fall asleep afterwards too. Steve being there made it marginally better, though. At least he was warm and comfortable, and he had someone caring for him, tending to his every need.
He hadn't gotten the sleep he'd needed by the time morning came, but despite having a huge headache and a pain in his stomach from a lack of food and water, he felt at least a little more human.
"Mm," he mumbled, eyes blinking blearily, immediately closing again as he curled up against Steve's warmth, fingers fisting his shirt. Eventually he looked over Steve's shoulder, trying to see whether there was a glass or bottle on the nightstand. His voice was quiet and hoarse when he spoke. "Water..."
He'd had plenty of time to prepare. There was a pitcher of water and dry crackers within easy reach, though he shuddered internally at the potential crumbs. He'd definitely need to change the bed as soon as possible. Steve kissed James' forehead and nodded, keeping his voice soft. There was probably a massive headache in that silly head.
"I need you to sit up love. I have water and a little snack. I can make something fresh when you feel up to it. I'm not too bad with eggs and toast these days." Steve gave the man a smile, ready and willing to give James anything he needed, no matter what it was. He'd ask questions later.
James let out a soft sound of protest, but he did nod, shifting slowly into a more sitting position. His head was spinning and just moving made him feel a little sick, but with his stomach empty there wasn't anything left to come back up.
He accepted the glass of water, taking a few small sips, then a larger gulp. He knew better than to chug it down. Grabbing the plate next, he held it close to avoid any crumbs falling onto the bed, then chewed on a couple crackers before his stomach decided that was enough for now.
"Think I need to sleep it off a little more," he mumbled, throat raw and hoarse. Tired. "Or just lie in bed. You... got anywhere else to be?"
Because James would like to keep him around if he could get away with that.
Steve moved when James did, sliding behind the man beneath the blankets so James was leaning back against his chest, cradled between his legs. He made an excellent bolster pillow, and it was easy to help the man if he seemed shaky. As much as a part of Steve wanted to scold and demand answers, he couldn't deny the deep satisfaction helping James gave him. He was built to take care of people and giving James all the love and support he'd tolerate was a dream come true. Steve rested his cheek on the man's hair and cuddled him close from behind, gently guiding James' head to rest against his shoulder.
"When you need me, I'll never have anywhere else to be James. You come first, and if anyone has an issue with that, I probably don't need them in my life." Which was true enough, if perhaps just a bit sad. Steve didn't want to think about anyone he cared for having an issue with his actions over James, even if they happened to be justified. He'd waited a hundred years or more to find someone that loved him who didn't get torn away before things could be explored. He wasn't giving that up.
James knew just how much Steve was loving this, and he couldn't really bring himself to deny him, especially when James enjoyed the attention just as much. He loved being pampered and doted on, adored as though he was the most important, precious thing. Right now it was the greatest comfort Steve could give him, simply giving up anything else he might have or want to do just so he could be here with him.
"Good," he murmured, managing a faint smile. He buried his face in Steve's shoulder, pressing close to him, warm body molding itself to Steve's. He was so glad to be held close, even if it meant he couldn't move much. It wasn't like he wanted to, anyway.
"'Course I did. I always sleep with you in my arms. Not long I admit, but that's not unusual. I take comfort in just having you next to me baby. Just rest James. I know you need it. I'll be here."
Steve stroked the man's hair, the gesture tender and loving, meant to comfort and soothe. He'd stay with James till the man felt recovered, joyously playing nursemaid and keeping everyone else away. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper, just in case the man had drifted off, "James? Do you wanna talk about it?"
That actually brought him some relief. Steve probably should sleep more than that, but he seemed alright enough. Better than James was, at least. He was content to doze off next to him again, hopefully helping Steve get a little more rest too, but then Steve had to go and speak up again, and James tensed in his arms.
He opened his eyes, but kept his face buried in Steve's chest, refusing to look at him. "No," he said resolutely, the tone harsher than he meant it to be. "Just... sleep, Steve. Let's sleep for a little longer. Gonna need a shower in a bit."
That was his way of saying he expected Steve to join him for that shower, of course.
"Mm. A shower sounds good. You'll let me wash you, right? Get your hair and everything? I love being able to take care of you."
Steve could wait. He wasn't happy about it, and it worried the hell out of him, but he could be patient. Plaguing the man with questions would only drive James away, hurting them both. His lover needed him to be a comfort, not a yet a confidant.
Annoying man.
He just cuddled James closer, stroking the man's nape in a soothing motion, his other arm holding James tight to his chest. Being big and warm was a blessing at times. He never had to worry about someone feeling comforted by his presence.
"Yeah," he murmured, sighing and relaxing against Steve. He always made him feel welcome, safe, loved. He was just taking advantage of it right now, but Steve seemed to be just as happy that he got to take care of him, and James sure as hell could use it right now.
"I always like showering with you," he burrowed closer, tilting his head up and kissing Steve's jaw. In a bit, he might even be feeling good enough for some fooling around in there, which was always great.
And it sure would be a great way to keep his thoughts away from Jim. It was a little easier when he had Steve around, someone he knew would never leave him. He was too hung up on him to turn his back, and it was perfect.
"Mm. If you have the energy, I'll eat you out again. That was fun the last time we made it part of shower time." Steve didn't mind a bit doing that. It wasn't as much fun as giving a blowjob, but anything that made James happy was worthwhile. Besides, it really made the guy unravel.
Steve tilted his head a little to give the man better access as he shifted even closer, pulling the blankets up a bit. He didn't want James catching a chill, not that it was likely pressed up against a heater like him, but still. No sense not being careful of someone so essential to his sanity and well-being. Steve would do anything for the man and never even think twice. James was the man he loved, of course he'd do anything in his power to see the man safe and smiling.
It wasn't exactly cold right now, but it was chilly enough that Steve's warmth was very much welcome. James all but tangled around him like an octopus, clinging tightly to him, closing his eyes with a low hum, nuzzling against Steve's shoulder.
He only gave Steve an acknowledging hum, soft and quiet, before dozing off. He managed a few more hours of sleep like that, all tangled up with Steve, and when he blinked his eyes open again he was feeling marginally better, even if warm and lazy and soft all over.
He did tip his head up to press a kiss to the corner of Steve's lips, regardless of him having his eyes open right now or not.
Steve was worried by the silence as much as anything else. James coming to him so fucked up in the first place was unusual. Having the man break down in his arms was worse. Granted, he treasured the trust it showed the man had in him, but he still had no idea why James was so upset. And he just wasn't sure pushing for answers would be a smart move.
When the man woke again and moved to give him a kiss, Steve bent his head, putting his mouth in a much easier-to-reach position. One hand trailed fingers up and down James' spine as he nuzzled a stubbled jaw, enjoying the rasp of the rough hair against his skin. Steve also had more than a little stubble of his own, but he hoped it wasn't a problem for the man in his arms.
"You awake again love? Do you feel any better James?"
That was the opposite of a problem. His fingers actually stroked the stubble slowly as he cupped Steve's face, shifting slightly so he could press his lips to Steve's in a warm, slow kiss, sighing as he broke away, nuzzling against Steve's nose, then his jaw.
"Mm," he hummed. Close enough to a 'yes'. He was smiling sleepily as he pulled away, eyes flicking up to meet Steve's. "What about that shower, still up for it?"
The tender touches, the nuzzles. It was everything Steve had ever longed for. His chest ached at finally getting his life-long dream and his hands were reverent on James. He grinned at the man, turning his face a little to kiss the man's fingers, sucking one playfully for a moment before answering.
"'Course. Getting you wet and hot is always on the table, but I promise I'll behave." Steve stroked James' cheek, smile dimming just a little, "And then you think we could talk baby? I'll make you something gentle on your belly and you can tell me what happened, hmm?"
James just let out a vague huff against Steve's jaw, dismissive. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, tone firmer, aiming to discourage Steve from trying yet again. He hoped the man would let the matter drop, honestly.
He shifted slightly instead, tugging on Steve's arm. "Come on. Shower."
It was a bad precedent to set, to let James have his way in things like secrets in the hotel. Steve didn't pry, as a rule, but was it really prying to ask about what sent the man to his door when he'd normally be anywhere else? It wasn't like Steve was subtle in not being fond of drugs and drinking till someone passed out, or came ridiculously close to it. He loved James, and he wasn't going to lecture someone with the life James had had on how to keep living it. But it hurt him to see his lover like that, and to know why he often did it.
Steve sighed and loosened his hold on the man. It just wasn't in him to hurt James more at the moment. Whatever had happened must have been pretty damned bad, "Come on. We'll get you clean and then I'll make you some food." He caught James' eye, the look in his own making it clear he was absolutely serious.
"But we are talking before you go James. Whatever happened, I'm on your side, but I think I deserve to know at least the generalities of what brought you here."
James stopped abruptly at that, then turned to face Steve. "Stop," he said firmly, resting a hand on Steve's chest, not a placating gesture but a warning more so than anything. "Stop that. Now. If I say I won't talk about it, then I won't talk about it. I came here because I trust you and I like being with you, Steve, but if you keep trying to push me or force me to talk, then I'll walk out the door right now."
It was none of Steve's concern, after all. And James hadn't come here to talk about it or to vent. Granted, he should've anticipated Steve trying to pry far too insistently, but he hoped that the threat of leaving would be enough to make him let it go.
"Now, it's up to you whether you want me to stay or not. Are we having that shower, or should I go find elsewhere to spend the next few days?"
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compelledtoprotect) wrote2019-05-05 04:31 am
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After his fight with Jim, James had taken a long, ill-considered detour by the club, and had more drinks than he ought to, and had mixed them with more drugs than he should. He was buzzed out and so out of it, it was a wonder none of the demons had decided to take advantage of his state in some way.
It was a wonder that he'd managed to stumble his way to Steve's doorstep, too. Granted, he was barely managing to stay upright, and chances were he's just fall into Steve's room the moment that door was open.
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Since James didn't seem in any hurry to speak, Steve took a moment to text Setsuna, taking care of that potential issue before it became one. He didn't like refusing his little brother bed space, but there was no way in hell James would agree to such a thing, even if he'd wanted to have them in the same room. Which he didn't. No, they could meet another day, when James was sober, and when he'd already explained to Setsuna who and what James was to him. Sometime far in the future probably . . . When the room continued to stay silent, he sighed and stroked the man's flushed cheek.
"James. What the hell have you been doing? You reek of alcohol, and I can smell at least five different drugs. What happened?"
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He mumbled incoherently all the way to Steve's bed, sighing in relief when he felt the softness of the covers beneath him, too out of it to even care about pulling them over himself instead. He had so much alcohol in him, it wasn't like he felt the cold anyway.
"Just want to stay," he mumbled, reaching for Steve's hand, clinging to his arm as tightly as he could manage. He was on the verge of tears, that much was likely obvious, too on edge to even realize that he couldn't filter his emotions properly like he normally would. "Please... let me. Don't... w-want to be alone..."
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Steve nuzzled the man's nape, mumbling against James' skin and pulling in deep breaths of his scent, "Shhh baby. It's alright. I'm here. I'm always here for you. You can stay as long as you want. I'm happy to have you here." He just kept dropping kisses on the man's nape, cuddling James. It didn't really matter what had brought him, at the moment, just that James was there. If his lover needed him, he'd never turn the man away. He'd explain to Setsuna later, when James wasn't so upset. In the meantime, all his attention was on James and soothing the man's emotions.
"I love you James. You never need to worry about having a happy welcome. My door's always open for you. Always."
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He might wake up with a hell of a headache later, or even have to stumble to the bathroom to throw up halfway through the night. But for now, he couldn't even think to move away. He felt like he was broken up into pieces and Steve was the only thing that was keeping him whole. If he untangled from the tight hold of his arms, he had a feeling he'd just fall apart.
"Good," he trembled, crying in absolute silence. He didn't want Steve asking why he was like this, what happened to him, but he also couldn't hold back the emotions taking the best of him. "Just... want to sleep forever."
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"If you sleep forever, how am I gonna hear you tell me how big I am? Or how good it feels to be stuffed full? How can I tease you and make you bitch at me?"
Steve spoke quietly, voice low and soothing. He didn't expect answers, he just wanted James to feel comforted. The lewd words would hopefully do that since they so often solved conflicts with sex, or put them off for another day at least. He wouldn't ask about what happened, not until the man seemed stronger. James needed care and Steve was overjoyed to give it, even though it was hard seeing such deep pain without knowing the cause.
"Close your eyes baby. Get some sleep for now. I'll be here, no matter what."
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His breaths trembled as he settled, not really processing the tease in Steve's words. He clung tightly to the other man, or as tightly as he could manage, and let himself melt into the embrace. He wasn't going to sleep so much as sleep into a drug-fueled dream, he was sure, but it was better than being awake and aware, at least.
But Steve felt warm, and solid. He was right there, holding him. He wouldn't leave during the night, leave James to wake up to an empty bed. That was the only thing that could make him forget about the whole mess with Jim, even if only momentarily, and he allowed it to sweep his mind and lull him into sleep.
time skip!
"Shhh it's ok baby. Take your time. I'm still here. No reason to open those pretty eyes before you're ready. Just rest James. There's no timetable, no obligations. Just rest."
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He hadn't gotten the sleep he'd needed by the time morning came, but despite having a huge headache and a pain in his stomach from a lack of food and water, he felt at least a little more human.
"Mm," he mumbled, eyes blinking blearily, immediately closing again as he curled up against Steve's warmth, fingers fisting his shirt. Eventually he looked over Steve's shoulder, trying to see whether there was a glass or bottle on the nightstand. His voice was quiet and hoarse when he spoke. "Water..."
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"I need you to sit up love. I have water and a little snack. I can make something fresh when you feel up to it. I'm not too bad with eggs and toast these days." Steve gave the man a smile, ready and willing to give James anything he needed, no matter what it was. He'd ask questions later.
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He accepted the glass of water, taking a few small sips, then a larger gulp. He knew better than to chug it down. Grabbing the plate next, he held it close to avoid any crumbs falling onto the bed, then chewed on a couple crackers before his stomach decided that was enough for now.
"Think I need to sleep it off a little more," he mumbled, throat raw and hoarse. Tired. "Or just lie in bed. You... got anywhere else to be?"
Because James would like to keep him around if he could get away with that.
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"When you need me, I'll never have anywhere else to be James. You come first, and if anyone has an issue with that, I probably don't need them in my life." Which was true enough, if perhaps just a bit sad. Steve didn't want to think about anyone he cared for having an issue with his actions over James, even if they happened to be justified. He'd waited a hundred years or more to find someone that loved him who didn't get torn away before things could be explored. He wasn't giving that up.
"Just rest love. I'm not going anywhere."
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"Good," he murmured, managing a faint smile. He buried his face in Steve's shoulder, pressing close to him, warm body molding itself to Steve's. He was so glad to be held close, even if it meant he couldn't move much. It wasn't like he wanted to, anyway.
"You sleep anything at all?"
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Steve stroked the man's hair, the gesture tender and loving, meant to comfort and soothe. He'd stay with James till the man felt recovered, joyously playing nursemaid and keeping everyone else away. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper, just in case the man had drifted off, "James? Do you wanna talk about it?"
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He opened his eyes, but kept his face buried in Steve's chest, refusing to look at him. "No," he said resolutely, the tone harsher than he meant it to be. "Just... sleep, Steve. Let's sleep for a little longer. Gonna need a shower in a bit."
That was his way of saying he expected Steve to join him for that shower, of course.
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Steve could wait. He wasn't happy about it, and it worried the hell out of him, but he could be patient. Plaguing the man with questions would only drive James away, hurting them both. His lover needed him to be a comfort, not a yet a confidant.
Annoying man.
He just cuddled James closer, stroking the man's nape in a soothing motion, his other arm holding James tight to his chest. Being big and warm was a blessing at times. He never had to worry about someone feeling comforted by his presence.
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"I always like showering with you," he burrowed closer, tilting his head up and kissing Steve's jaw. In a bit, he might even be feeling good enough for some fooling around in there, which was always great.
And it sure would be a great way to keep his thoughts away from Jim. It was a little easier when he had Steve around, someone he knew would never leave him. He was too hung up on him to turn his back, and it was perfect.
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Steve tilted his head a little to give the man better access as he shifted even closer, pulling the blankets up a bit. He didn't want James catching a chill, not that it was likely pressed up against a heater like him, but still. No sense not being careful of someone so essential to his sanity and well-being. Steve would do anything for the man and never even think twice. James was the man he loved, of course he'd do anything in his power to see the man safe and smiling.
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He only gave Steve an acknowledging hum, soft and quiet, before dozing off. He managed a few more hours of sleep like that, all tangled up with Steve, and when he blinked his eyes open again he was feeling marginally better, even if warm and lazy and soft all over.
He did tip his head up to press a kiss to the corner of Steve's lips, regardless of him having his eyes open right now or not.
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When the man woke again and moved to give him a kiss, Steve bent his head, putting his mouth in a much easier-to-reach position. One hand trailed fingers up and down James' spine as he nuzzled a stubbled jaw, enjoying the rasp of the rough hair against his skin. Steve also had more than a little stubble of his own, but he hoped it wasn't a problem for the man in his arms.
"You awake again love? Do you feel any better James?"
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"Mm," he hummed. Close enough to a 'yes'. He was smiling sleepily as he pulled away, eyes flicking up to meet Steve's. "What about that shower, still up for it?"
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"'Course. Getting you wet and hot is always on the table, but I promise I'll behave." Steve stroked James' cheek, smile dimming just a little, "And then you think we could talk baby? I'll make you something gentle on your belly and you can tell me what happened, hmm?"
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He shifted slightly instead, tugging on Steve's arm. "Come on. Shower."
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Steve sighed and loosened his hold on the man. It just wasn't in him to hurt James more at the moment. Whatever had happened must have been pretty damned bad, "Come on. We'll get you clean and then I'll make you some food." He caught James' eye, the look in his own making it clear he was absolutely serious.
"But we are talking before you go James. Whatever happened, I'm on your side, but I think I deserve to know at least the generalities of what brought you here."
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It was none of Steve's concern, after all. And James hadn't come here to talk about it or to vent. Granted, he should've anticipated Steve trying to pry far too insistently, but he hoped that the threat of leaving would be enough to make him let it go.
"Now, it's up to you whether you want me to stay or not. Are we having that shower, or should I go find elsewhere to spend the next few days?"
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Wanna call it done?
Looks good to me!!